Imagine you worked for the Global Revenue Assurance Professional Association, which claims to be some kind of global and professional revenue assurance association, even though its head office is Papa Rob Mattison’s garage. During the 5 years you worked for GRAPA, you taught people how to do revenue assurance and fraud management. In parallel, you also sat examinations and received qualifications for all the subjects you teach. You honestly marked your own papers. And you scored 100% for the module on business ethics. Although you never worked for an actual telco, your CV says you are a GRAPA-qualified Telecoms Fraud Analyst (nice!), a GRAPA-qualified Practitioner of Revenue Assurance (cool!), a GRAPA-qualified Telecoms Fraud Officer (wow!), and a GRAPA-qualified Master of Revenue Assurance Management – how impressive is that!?!?! So when it comes time to leave GRAPA, what job do you do? Is it…
- Director of Revenue Assurance for a tier one telco;
- Chief Fraud Officer for a multinational telecoms group;
- Head of Revenue Assurance for a mid-sized ISP; or
- Selling in-flight wi-fi to airlines?
Being one of GRAPA’s highly qualified experts in global telecoms fraud and revenue assurance is perfect preparation for a job where you persuade airlines to implement wi-fi for their passengers. Congratulations to Louis Khor and I hope he succeeds in his new job as Proposal Manager for Gogo. We all know that Louis LOVED revenue assurance, so there must have been tears when he decided he had no chance of a career in revenue assurance. On the plus side, after 5 years at GRAPA, the only way is up!
Meanwhile, let me express my sincere condolences to former students of GRAPA, who must now realize their qualifications are totally worthless.