Lebara Mobile has chosen Aricent Group for Revenue Assurance in 7 countries and therefore a press release was quite in order. The last line in the first paragraph reads:
The multi-country solution has ended revenue leakage and reduced operating expenditure through a more agile and responsive IT infrastructure.
I must have missed the memo. We have advanced to the level of ending revenue leakages! And this is not just a possibility – it has already happened.
I just imagined myself as RA manager having this conversation with my CFO.
Me (leaning forward): Sir,I am committing my efforts to eliminating revenue leakage.
CFO: Oh, you don’t say!
Me: Totally abolish it. I will leave no stone unturned. I mean, no CDR unaccounted for.
CFO: By when?
Me: End of current financial year.
CFO: You do realize we are in Feb and our financial year ends on 31st Mar?
Me: I am well aware. That’s why we just upgraded our RA tool.
CFO: My prayers are with you.
Me: Thanks. What’s that list that you are scrutinizing?
CFO: It’s just a list of people we wish to get rid of.
Me: We are downsizing?
CFO: No, we are just getting rid of bull-shitters and peddlers of hog-wash.
Me: Looks like it has 39 people. Those idiots are that many?
CFO: You have no idea. I will shortly add the 40th person as soon as you close the door behind you.
Me: If we can eliminate revenue leakages and also get rid of those 40 pests, this company will be on its way to the big league.
CFO: It sure will.
Me: OK. See you later
CFO: Don’t count on it.
I exit the office wondering what he meant by that last statement. But I cant be bothered. I am going to eliminate revenue leakage.